motherboard.vice | The idea first came up while a friend and I were discussing
the vagina's probiotic properties. "Why is there a whole cookbook of
cum-based recipes and not a SINGLE THING on Google about culturing jazz
juice?" she wrote in a message to me and a few of our friends.
So,
as the disapproving ghost of Julia Child looked on, she grabbed a
spoon, a pan, and a candy thermometer, and set out to create yogurt from
her vagina—the ultimate in locally-sourced cuisine.
Cecilia
Westbrook is a friend of mine, and an MD/PhD student at the University
of Wisconsin, Madison. We had joked before about making yogurt from
vaginal secretions—predictable jokes about the dietary benefit of eating
pussy, about naming the product ‘Queeffer’—but then a Google search was
performed and: nothing. Not even in medical literature. Curiosity
piqued, Westbrook began to research in earnest. What choice did she have
but to try it herself?
Every
vagina is home to hundreds of different types of bacteria and
organisms. These organisms—collectively known as the vaginal
community—produce lactic acid, hydrogen peroxide, and other substances
that keep the vagina healthy. The dominant bacteria is called
lactobacillus, which also happens to be what people sometimes use to
culture milk, cheese, and yogurt.
But Westbrook didn’t make her
yogurt just for the sake of some amazing jokes. And she certainly didn’t
make it because she was hungry. She knew enough about the chemistry of
the vagina to think that eating a batch of yogurt made from her
ladyjuices would be good for her. Seriously.
Her first batch of yogurt tasted sour, tangy, and almost tingly on the tongue. She compared it to Indian yogurt, and ate it with some blueberries.
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